7 Powerful Lessons from the Bestseller "Never Split the Difference"
Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator.
His expert insights from the days he was managing international crises are powerful lessons you can apply to your everyday interactions and get whatever you want.
And in particular to Customer Success.
Here are seven powerful lessons from his book of a lifetime, Never Split The Difference, that will change the way you engage with your customers forever:
1. Build Empathy
Two things are the root of Chris Voss's negotiation techniques:
Understanding and caring about how others feel.
It means you listen to your customers, put yourself in their shoes, recognize their issues, and show that you understand their emotions.
This will help you build trust and drive a more cooperative conversation.
Example: Let’s say your customer is frustrated over delayed response times.
Simply acknowledge their frustration but do not jump to a solution immediately.
Say something like:
"I understand how these delays are making things difficult for you. Let's work together to find a solution that meets your needs."
2. Practice Mirroring
Mirroring is about repeating the last few words your counterpart says.
Example: During an onboarding call, the customer talks about their business goals and says, "We need to increase our monthly usage".
Mirror what they just said with, "Increase your monthly usage?"
This will encourage them to elaborate and provide you with more information so you can best adapt your response.
It’s a subtle yet powerful way to encourage them to keep talking.
Moreover, it builds more trust as you show that you are listening.
3. Learn How To Deal With ’No’
It sounds counterintuitive but a 'No' is not the end of a negotiation.
It’s just the beginning.
It provides an opportunity to explore the other party's desires and concerns.
Example: A customer asks for a feature that's not available right now.
So, instead of immediately saying ‘No it's not possible’, simply ask:
"If we were not able to provide this feature in the upcoming months, what would be your next priority?"
This opens up a dialogue about alternatives and keeps the conversation open and productive.
4. Use Your Late-Night FM DJ Voice :)
Your tone of voice can have a massive impact on how your message is received.
Chris Voss recommends using a calm, slow, and reassuring voice to create an atmosphere of trust and authority.
Example: A customer is upset and raises their voice during a call.
Respond with a calm and measured tone:
"I understand how frustrating this is for you. Let's see how we can address this together."
You can use this technique to de-escalate tense situations and convey confidence in your ability to handle any issues.
5. Give a Label To Their Emotions
Giving a name to the emotions your counterpart shows can help diffuse tension and build a deeper connection.
Example: A customer is super anxious about implementing a new feature. They fear it will break access to the product or service.
So, just ‘label’ their concern and say:
"It sounds like there's some anxiety about how this will roll out. What specific concerns do you have?"
Acknowledging their emotion can make them feel understood and more open to discussion.
6. Listen Actively
Active listening requires you to focus on the speaker, understand their message, respond in a meaningful way, and most importantly, remember what was said.
It's a skill that you must learn to get better at and ultimately master.
Example: During a feedback session, a customer shares their experience with your product.
Listen attentively, then summarize their points to confirm your understanding:
"So, if I'm hearing you correctly, you're saying that X and Y features have been beneficial, but you're encountering issues with Z, am I right?"
This will show them you understand their perspective and that you can respond with the most appropriate action or solution.
7. Give Them The Illusion of Control
Chris Voss advocates for giving the other side the illusion of control while you work on your next move with strategic questions.
This means guiding customers in a way that they feel in charge. Meanwhile, you subtly influence the outcome for a mutually beneficial resolution.
Example: You need a customer to complete a series of tasks for successful onboarding—I know many of you go crazy ‘cause the customer never does 100% of what you ask them to do :-)
So, instead of ‘dictating’ tasks, ask them guiding questions that lead them to the conclusion by themselves:
"How do you see X task fitting into your current workflow?"
This will make them feel in control while you guide the process.
And That’s It
You can use these techniques in many different scenarios, from onboarding new customers and managing their expectations to running executive business reviews.
Apply these powerful techniques from "Never Split the Difference" and you‘ll never engage with your customers the old way again.
I hope that helps,
Hakan.
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